50 things t' do in an elevator! Arrr!

Because I couldna think o' any thin' t' write, enjoy this all in Sea dog talk!:


50 things t' do in an elevator!

Make race car noises when ere gets on or off.


Blow yer nose an' offer t' show th' contents o' yer kleenex t' other passengers.

Grimace painfully while smackin' yer forehead an' muttering: Shut up, dammit, all o' ye jus' shut UP!

Whistle th' first se'en notes o' `Tis a Wee World incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side t' side at th' natural frequency o' th' elevator.

Shave.

Crack open yer briefcase or purse, an' while peerin' inside ask: Got enough air in thar?

Offer name tags t' sea dogs an' land lubbers gettin' on th' elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Stand silent an' motionless in th' corner, facin' th' wall, without gettin' off.

When arrivin' at yer deck, grunt an' strain t' yank th' doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by they's self.

List o'er t' another passenger an' whisper: Noogie patrol comin'!

Greet sea dogs an' land lubbers gettin' on th' elevator wi' a warm handshake an' ask them t' call ye Admiral.

Censored by yer lad.

On th' highest deck, hold th' door open an' demand that 't stay open until ye hear th' penny ye dropped down th' shaft go plink at th' bottom.

Do Tai Chi exercises.

Stare, grinnin', at another passenger fer a while, an' then announce: I`ve got new socks on!

When at least 8 swabbies be havin' boarded, moan from th' aft: Oh, nay now, damn motion sickness!

Give religious tracts t' each passenger.

Meow occassionally.

Bet th' other passengers ye can fit a quarter in yer nose.

Frown an' mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh an' say oops!

Show other passengers a wound an' ask if 't looks infected.

Sin' Mary had a wee lamb while continually pushin' buttons.

Holler Chutes away! whenerethe elevator descends.

Keel haul on wi' a cooler that says crewmate hade on th' side.

Stare at another passenger fer a while, then announce Ye`re one o' THEM! an' move t' th' far corner o' th' elevator.

Burp, an' then say mmmm...tasty!

Leave a box between th' doors.

Ask each passenger gettin' on if ye can push th' button fer them.

Wear a puppet on yer hand an' talk t' other passengers through 't.

Start a sing-along.

When th' elevator be silent, look around an' ask be that yer beeper?

Play th' harmonica.

Shadow box.

Say Din'! at each deck.

List against th' button panel.

Say I wonder what all these do an' push th' red buttons.

Listen t' th' elevator walls wi' a stethoscope.

Draw a wee square on th' deck wi' chalk an' announce t' th' other passengers that this be yer swabbieal space.

Brin' a chair along.

Take a bite o' a sandwich an' ask another passenger: Wanna be seein' wha in muh mouf?

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull yer gum ou' o' yer bung hole in long strings.

Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.

Carry a blanket an' clutch 't protectively.

Make explosion noises when ere presses a button.

Wear X-Ray Specs an' leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at yer thumb an' say I think 'tis gettin' larger.

If ere brushes against ye, recoil an' holler Bad touch!



Have a great talk like a gentleman o' fortune tide sea dogs an' land lubbers!